"Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

When first going through the heartache that goes along with a divorce or breakup you may think you will never get beyond the pain. You may think you are going to live with this heartache for the rest of your life and you just know that you will never meet anyone again that you love as much.

Well the good news is; you're wrong. The bad news is that you have to go through it to get to the other side. But, eventually you will get through it and you will survive. There are stages of grieving that you will experience until you get to acceptance.

Getting over heartache is never easy but if you believe that you will survive; you will get through it sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe things will work out or you constantly relive the past, wallow in why, what if, and if only; you will only prolong the inevitable.

Once you accept the truth, when the reality finally sets in that your relationship really is over, is the time that you will begin the healing process. But healing will not happen until you truly accept that things are never going to be the way you wanted.

Heartache happens to every person on the planet in one way or another and along with time healing your wounds; making smart, healthy choices while going through the grieving process with help you get to the other side much faster. Below are some of the good and bad choices you can make to make it easier or harder to get through.

UNHEALTHY CHOICES:

* Continuing to keep in contact: calling, texting, asking to meet; just one more time.

* Rehashing the past all day, every day with anyone who will listen.

* Longing to understand why; this one is a biggie - 99% of the time you will never know why or if they do give you a reason, who knows if it's the truth? So the sooner you give up on wanting something you may never get, the better off you'll be!

* Allowing yourself to wallow, having daily pity parties and constantly asking, "Why me?"

* Wishing things were different and hoping things will work out.

HEALTHY CHOICES:

* Keep yourself as busy as possible; surround yourself with the people who love you and want to see you heal.

* Exercise! I don't care what you do just do something even if it's only for 10 minutes a day. This is the # 1 thing you can do for yourself that will help you feel better on all levels. * Begin to believe you will survive and that there is a whole big wonderful life ahead of you.

So, if you are getting over the heartache of losing someone you love, know that this is only a temporary situation; this too shall pass. Know that you will survive and move on to have a great life again. And, more importantly begin to believe that you will and you will.

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